This all sounds good. But the question that comes to my mind as I read the response of Jesus is “But what is Love? How can you define that word?” Love would be one of the most used words in our vocabulary. However it is also one of the most abused words. We are inundated with the word love. We hear it in songs on T.V and the radio. We read so many stories about love in our newspapers and magazines. One would think that because of the frequency this kind of love is portrayed and expounded in the mass media there would be peace, happiness and tranquility all around us. The reality is very far from this unfortunately. In spite of using that word “love” so often there is so much hurt, abuse and breakdowns of relationships all around us.
So what is the problem with love? The problem is not with love at all but with how we interpret it. Jesus’s love is very different from the kind of love that we see promised and proclaimed by some sections of our society. Jesus’s kind of love has a very specific meaning and this can be attested from the kind of life that he lived.
In the first place, for Jesus love was not simply feeling good about someone or something. Love is much more than that. For Jesus love is a decision. You cannot trust feelings because feelings change. I may feel good about you now but in an hour’s time you may be driving me up the wall. So, if love is simply feeling good about someone I will love that person when things are going right. However when the situation changes, when I am not feeling so good about that particular person then I will stop loving. It sounds unreal doesn’t it? Unfortunately this is the kind of love we are being constantly bombarded with. It is always conditional. I love you as long as we are compatible, or as long as we agree. I love you as long as there are no hassles between us and as long as things are going right. But if my feelings change or the situation changes then I am sorry but I do not love you anymore.
Jesus’s love is not like this. He made a decision to love you and me and he will never back off from that decision. Jesus is not conditioned by the way He feels in order to love or not. He simply loves. He found it very hard to face his passion. I am sure that at the Garden of Gethsemane He was assailed by so many hesitations to go forward and embrace the cross. Yet He did it not because He felt good or bad about it but because He simply loves you and me in a passionate manner.
There is also another aspect of the love that Jesus portrays. It is not only a decision but a decision forever. There were times when I turned my back to Him. There were times when I preferred to go with my way of thinking and acting even if this was totally opposite to His teaching and guidance. There have been times when I based my life on what I thought best. Yet even in these times, Jesus did not stop loving me. He just waited and kept reminding me of his presence until the time came when I realised my mistake and went running back to him.
No wonder that over the centuries, so many people who tried to offer and be strengthened by the kind of love that Jesus stood for made such a difference in the lives of so many. Let us not go that far in searching for these people because many are close to us and are around us. It is enough to think of our parents who against many odds gave us the best and kept on loving us. I am sure that all of us can identify with someone who fits into this category. This week I was particularly touched when Barack Obama took two days off from his election campaign in order to be with his very sick grandmother in Hawaii. Some of his own advisors tried to dissuade him but his reply was, “She’s the one who taught me about hard work. She’s the one who put off buying a new car or a new dress for herself so that I could have a better life. She poured everything that she had into me. Whatever strength, discipline that I have it comes from her”. Asked if there could be a political risk in taking time away from his campaign trial so close to the election he said, “ I think most people understand that if you are not caring for your family then you’re probably not the kind of person who’s going to be caring for other people”. This is the kind of love that Jesus stood for.
No wonder that as a church we give so much importance and support to marriage and family life. Marriage in a church means that a man and a woman are called and invited to love as Jesus loves. When I meet married couples I feel Jesus loving me through the love they have for one another. This is an awesome call and an awesome vocation. By upholding marriage for a lifetime, the purpose is not to make people suffer as the result of stubbornness and hardness of heart. It is rather to be reminded of how sacred and special married life is. It is far easier to go for the little and to be swamped by popular opinion. As believers in Jesus, we try to help each other and support one another to live in accordance with his wishes and desires.
God Bless
