The past students of a well renowned school were having a reunion. One of the school chaplins at one stage had the opportunity to strike a conversation with a group of students who were huddled together. He asked them what professions were they involved in at the present time. He was provided with a very impressive litany of achievements. One of those present was an eminent surgeon in one of the big hospitals in the city. Another had a very responsible position in the financial world while another was the chairperson of a quite successful business company. The priest continued to listen as those around him continued to talk about their seemingly very successful careers. When they finished, he looked at them and said, “This is really impressive. You have really achieved a lot. However, can I now ask you a deeper question? “What have you made of your personal life?” Those gathered remained silent, started to fidget and hiding their faces in the glasses that they were holding in their hands. Their lifestyle left much to be desired especially in the area of relationships and family life. They were very reluctant to talk about themselves because they knew that they did not give themselves the proper time to grow emotionally with the consequence that their lives as human beings was very much impoverished.
Unfortunately, this happens so often in the lives of people who are held as models of success for others to follow. Very often in peoples minds the measure of success has everything to do with what has been achieved and not with who the person is, with how that person lives his or her personal life. This means that unfortunately the message is given that the only talents that matter are those that help a person achieve honour and prestige. We seldom hear about those talents that helps a person balance what has been achieved with the kind of life that person is living in relationship with others. Of course we should appreciate and acknowledge qualities that lead a person to success. The problem, as I see it, is that only these talents are presented as the ones that really matter and therefore ought to be pursued.
Other talents that relate to our personal growth, like being faithful to our responsibilities, using our gifts to help other, and pursuing right and wholesome relationships are very often disregarded or considered to be irrelevant. Yes, we should rejoice in what has been achieved because very often, it is the fruit of hard and continuous effort and work. However, it is also vitally important to give the due importance to those qualities and talents which helps us to mature as decent human beings. True talent lies in the capability to hold both of these together in a healthy balance. Yes, we are called to do our best to continue to sharpen our skills so that we can become more professional and efficient in what we do. At the same time real talented people also care about how they can nurture healthy relationships with themselves, with others and with God.
This is the essence of the first reading of today taken from the book of Proverbs which expressed the wisdom accumulated over the years by the people of Israel. What make a perfect wife? The answer lies in the way she acts as a human person. Success is portrayed as being, industrious, caring, wise and virtuous. She possesses something that goes beyond wealth and beauty important though these things might be. She has a loving heart, a heart that is sensitive, a heart that understands, a heart that is human and she puts these qualities at the service of her family, her neighbours and the poor. This is how she achieves respect from all those who know her. This is real talent.
It is therefore so important today to honour in a special way all the people gathered here who through married life have displayed these qualities over so many years of commitment to one another, to their families and friends. I am who I am today as a human person because I had a mother and a father who loved me deeply and who cared for me in a passionate manner. I can love today because I have experienced so much love from my parents. I can forgive today because I have been forgiven so often by them. I can show compassion because they were compassionate to me so many times. I can believe today because they believed in me even when I made my mistakes. I am encouraged to be of service to others because mum and dad simply gave themselves continuously to me. I can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ because since I was a little child they prayed with me. I am who I am today because of the commitment and care of my parents.
It is therefore appropriate to say thank you on behalf of our God and on behalf of the church for the many sacrifices that you parents and married people have made, that you are still making and that you are prepared to keep on making for the benefit of your family and those around you. Because you have chosen to get married in the church, you are invited to love as God loves. What an incredible call. When I meet you, I feel God loving me through the love that you have for one another. This is awesome. This is so different from the type of love and relationship that we are bombarded with at times in magazines, T.V shows, Hollywood gossip, C.D’s and the internet. Now let us as believers in Jesus Christ use our talents to help others in their search for what is peaceful, just and permanent.
God Bless
