One of the reasons might be that we are bombarded with the wrong notion about love. You see, the love that is being presented to us and which is heavily influencing our young generation is very much a conditional type of love. I love you as long as you agree with me. I love you as long as you look nice and do what I ask. I love you as long as we are compatible. I love you as long as I feel ok about you. This kind of love is a far cry from what we Christians stand for and believe.
Love is much more than feeling good about another person. Love is not a feeling but a decision. Feelings change. I may feel good about you at this very minute, but in an hour’s time you may be driving me up the wall. So what am I going to do when I do not feel that good about you. Stop loving you? Unfortunately this is the kind of love that we are constantly being presented with.
St Therese of Lisieux died of tuberculosis at the age of 24. Towards the end of her of life she questioned herself deeply. “What is my vocation”? Well, we could have answered her that, her vocation was to be a Carmelite Sister. No, she would say there is something much wider and vaster than being a Carmelite Sister at one stage, she exclaimed, “My vocation is to love like Jesus”. What does this meant Therese? It means that I decide to love, and to love forever; because Jesus made a decision to love us for ever. I may give him my back, I may turn away from him, but he will remain constant in His love for me.
After all this is the essence of Christian marriage. In his letter to the people of Ephesus 4:32-33, Paul says that Christian marriage reflects the love that God has for us. In other words, Christian couples when they marry are invited to love as God loves. This is awesome. In practice it means that whenever I meet a Christian couple I feel the love of God for me through the love that they have for one another. Christian married love is a reflection of the very love of God. The Church is therefore not mad or stupid, crazy or old fashioned when it continues to say with Jesus that marriage is between a man and a woman and for a lifetime. Our mission is not to condemn and point fingers. At the same time it is vital for our people to understand very well and be conscious why marriage is taken so seriously by our Catholic Faith Community and we will be selling our people short if we try to trivialize or water down this precious gift.
I recall Charlie and Carmen. They married late in life. They had one child. They are a happy couple, very loving and living a very normal ordinary life. One day Carmen was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The doctors told Charlie that they could operate but they would not guarantee what the results would be. During the operation, the doctors had to cut some nerves with the consequence that Carmen lost the eyesight of one eye and her face became distorted. She could not speak clearly and became very fearful. One day Charlie came to see me and asked me to go with him because the specialist wanted to see him. The specialist told him that there was not much more that could be done for his wife. Maybe the best thing to do was to arrange for his wife to go into a nursing home and he would have the opportunity to get on with his life. Charlie looked at me and then said to the doctor, “You are talking about my wife. On the day I married her, I promised to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. We have had a terrific time when she was healthy, and now I will continue with my promise to her. She will come home and I will take care of her”. He resigned from work and together with other professional and medical help has been taking care of his wife. I often used to see them, walking slowly taking their little boy to the parish school. After dropping him at the school, they always went into the church for a prayer. Indeed, God can turn what seems to be a tragedy into triumphs.
Of course this way of living this way of acting and loving in the midst of so many contrary opinions and ideas needs to be nurtured and nourished. In today’s second reading Paul gives us a very practical way of moving forward in this area. Many couples choose this reading for their wedding and this is terrific. However, the chance is that this reading can simply remain nice words that sound very appropriate for a wedding celebration. However the Word of God is there for us to listen to carefully and to live according to what it expounds.
Therefore I am going to read what Paul says about love. However I am going to take away the word “love” and put in my name instead. This is where this reading becomes life changing enabling me to love as Jesus loves. Bishop Joe is always patient and kind. He is never jealous, boastful or conceited. He is never rude or selfish. He does not take offence and is not resentful. Bishop Joe takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth. He is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes, and because of this Bishop Joe will not come to an end.
Wow, what a great call we have as Catholic people believing and following Jesus Christ. Let’s go for it. Let us teach our Children well about this and let us not go for what some sections of society tells us about relationships and commitments. Let us stand with what our God stands for . We then are able to change what look like tragedies into triumphs.
God Bless.
